How to talk to kids about race and foster interracial friendships

New research shows that kids who read a story that suggested prejudice could change—that it can be shaped by individual experiences—were more interested in interacting with children of another race.

The researchers conclude that their findings highlight a promising way of “sustaining positive interracial relationships during a critical developmental window—when the frequency of cross-race friendships typically declines.”

In middle childhood, kids begin to self-segregate by race. A common assumption is that this behavior coincides with them becoming more prejudiced and developing racist beliefs. But what if, instead of developing racist beliefs, children actually fear saying or doing the wrong thing and being labeled as racist?

For the past decade, Evan Apfelbaum, associate professor of management and organizations at Boston University Questrom School of Business, has been testing that theory.

Using a series of controlled interactions between kids of different races, he’s found that when children believe prejudice is a malleable concept—that “once a racist, always a racist” is not an immutable fact—it can make them more enthusiastic for interracial interactions. They lose their fear of being stuck for life with a shameful label.

He and his colleagues conclude that their new findings highlight a promising way of “sustaining positive interracial relationships during a critical developmental window—when the frequency of cross-race friendships typically declines.”

The findings appear in Developmental Science.

With some states restricting the discussion of race and racism in schools, and others firmly leaning into it, Apfelbaum talks about the racial and political climate in America and how he’s incorporating his research results into his own parenting: